The One Thing Clock Boy Wanted but Never Received from Arrest Incident

February 16, 2017

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Marcia Robins

Ahmed Mohammed, known in the media as Clock Boy (pictured here), made national headlines in September of 2015 when he was arrested by Irving, TX authorities for bringing a clock mistaken for a bomb to his elementary school. In result, social media outlets like Facebook and CNN exploded with the story and caused the young science student to receive countless gifts from technology corporations, opportunities to meet with famous celebrities and politicians like Barack Obama and Mark Cuban and was even offered scholarships from other educational institutions. But besides all of the fancy technology and meetings with famous people, there was one thing young Ahmed wanted that he never got from the whole clock incident: Andy Sixx's Warm Log of Shit sliding down his throat.

After having his case thrown out in court, young Mohammed released a lengthy statement through his brand-new Microsoft Surface Pro tablet detailing that his entire purpose for staging the publicity stunt was due to the fact that he thought Andy Sixx would be generous enough to give him his log of shit.

"While I already knew that bring a clock that looked like a bomb would bring me publicity, riches and fame, it failed to bring me the one thing that I truly wanted in this whole ordeal: Andy's Sweet Creamy Log Roll," Mohammed wrote on his Facebook page. "It has always been my dream to tongue wrestle with Andy Sixx's warm butthole snake, but seeing as though Andy maintains his position on politics even after all of this time, I finally realize that I will never have the sensation of Andy's warm creamy log sliding down my throat. I apologize for all the media outrage this has caused many."

The position on politics that Ahmed is referring to is a 2016 statement made by Andy Sixx during the 2016 Presidential Election when General Sixx was asked which candidate he and the BVB Army were supporting in which he replied:

"The BVB Army will maintain a neutral position in all of American politics. Unless we are directly affected by the presidential candidate, we have no reason to involve them in our Log of Shit mission."