All You Need is Log: Studies Conclude Andy Sixx's Warm Log to Cure Diseases.

All You Need is Log: Studies Conclude Andy Sixx's Warm Log to Cure Diseases.

February 18, 2017
Days after scientific testing concluded Andy Sixx's Log of Shit to be the tastiest of the other 10 logs selected from 3 celebrities and 7 random commoners found on the streets, further testing proved Andy Sixx's log to absolve people of their illnesses.

Young Eliza DiSanto of El Paso, TX was dying of cancer when she asked the "Make a Wish Foundation" to grant her a last wish of having her lord and savior's warm shit roll slide down her throat one more time, General Sixx simply could not refuse. After eating a hearty meal consisting of three  beef-chicken burritos from Chipotle with guacamole and spicy salsa, Andy Sixx delivered to young DiSanto a "last meal worth dying for."

Three days later, DiSanto was declared cured by doctors at the hospital and Andy's shit was collected for a variety of testing. Upon further research, Andy's sweet creamy log had cured monkeys infected with deadly malaria and other viruses in laboratory trials as well as cancer in laboratory mice. Although still in the process of being researched further, perhaps the best medicine, besides orgasming to Andy's sweet sexy screamo vocals, comes in a brown log roll from his butt.

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