All You Need is Log: Studies Conclude Andy Sixx's Warm Log to Cure Diseases.
All You Need is Log: Studies Conclude Andy Sixx's Warm Log to Cure Diseases.
February 18, 2017
Days
after scientific testing concluded Andy Sixx's Log of Shit to be the
tastiest of the other 10 logs selected from 3 celebrities and 7 random
commoners found on the streets, further testing proved Andy Sixx's log
to absolve people of their illnesses.
Young
Eliza DiSanto of El Paso, TX was dying of cancer when she asked the
"Make a Wish Foundation" to grant her a last wish of having her lord and
savior's warm shit roll slide down her throat one more time, General
Sixx simply could not refuse. After eating a hearty meal consisting of
three beef-chicken burritos from Chipotle with guacamole and spicy
salsa, Andy Sixx delivered to young DiSanto a "last meal worth dying
for."
Three days later,
DiSanto was declared cured by doctors at the hospital and Andy's shit
was collected for a variety of testing. Upon further research, Andy's
sweet creamy log had cured monkeys infected with deadly malaria and
other viruses in laboratory trials as well as cancer in laboratory mice.
Although still in the process of being researched further, perhaps the
best medicine, besides orgasming to Andy's sweet sexy screamo vocals,
comes in a brown log roll from his butt.
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