Federal Fraud Case Dismissed to Deal with BOTDF Conflict

February 8, 2017

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Robert Cayles

The Judge overseeing the United States vs. Black Veil Brides Army has dismissed the case against the Army's High Command due to the recent events pertaining to the war recently declared by the Blood on the Dance Floor Air Force.

In frustration, the Justice Department released the statement:

"We are frustrated by the Judge's sympathy towards the BVB Army's high command to handle their affairs with another rock band. It's just disturbing what this country is becoming. We will not stop our pursuit to end the BVB Army's scheme of selling fake logs of shit to their fans. We would rather die."

Shortly after the court was adjourned, Andy Sixx (pictured here) stepped outside the courtroom and began signing autographs but would not comment on the BVB Army's victory.

Shortly after his denial, a little fangirl showed Andy a Hot Topic receipt for $350 in stupid shit and in response, Andy turned around, pulled down his pants, put his anus to her mouth and shat out a fucking massive monster log. Like holy fuck if you think the one in the previous article was massive, you were fucking wrong. This fucking log was so big that it was a living, breathing thing complete with organs, a circulatory system and even a personality... or at least it did until the little fan girl munched it right up in one lustful gulp.

One thing is for certain, the BVB Army wasn't the only victor at the court room that day.