Studies Show Andy Sixx to have Tastiest Log of Shit

Studies Show Andy Sixx to have Tastiest Log of Shit

February 12, 2017
In a research study comissioned by the BVB Army Institute of Log of Shit Research and Study, results were released for a $4.2 million study of Andy Sixx's shit compared to the shit of other people. Three were celebrities while seven others were common Joes they found on the street who agreed to shit in a plastic zip-lock bag for "scientific advancement" when approached randomly on the street by fellow BVB Army Soldiers.

Although the celebrities have signed non-disclosure agreements in which we will never know who they are, the BVB Army, prior to being granted the funding for the study released a list of potential candidates to donate their shit for research. The list of potential fecal-donors included Kim Kardashian, Ellen DeGeneris, Dennis Rodman, Matt Damon, Oprah Winfrey, Stephen Segal and Christian Bale.

"These results only show just how fucking hot and god-like Andy Sixx is. We can no longer depend on faith to attest to the almighty awesomeness of Andy Sixx's warm log for we now have science to prove that Andy's log is definitely the works and production of something truly divine." lead scientist on the project, Ingred Strehter said upon publishing the results of the findings at a news conference earlier this week. 

This is perhaps the best news to come to the BVB Army other than the success of the BVB Army's assault on 107 BOTDF Air Force personnel at a Georgia Air Station three days ago, but it most certainly does not seem like the last of good news.

Comments

Popular Posts