Studies Show Andy Sixx to have Tastiest Log of Shit
Studies Show Andy Sixx to have Tastiest Log of Shit
February 12, 2017
In
a research study comissioned by the BVB Army Institute of Log of Shit
Research and Study, results were released for a $4.2 million study of
Andy Sixx's shit compared to the shit of other people. Three were
celebrities while seven others were common Joes they found on the street
who agreed to shit in a plastic zip-lock bag for "scientific
advancement" when approached randomly on the street by fellow BVB Army
Soldiers.
Although
the celebrities have signed non-disclosure agreements in which we will
never know who they are, the BVB Army, prior to being granted the
funding for the study released a list of potential candidates to donate
their shit for research. The list of potential fecal-donors included Kim
Kardashian, Ellen DeGeneris, Dennis Rodman, Matt Damon, Oprah Winfrey,
Stephen Segal and Christian Bale.
"These
results only show just how fucking hot and god-like Andy Sixx is. We
can no longer depend on faith to attest to the almighty awesomeness of
Andy Sixx's warm log for we now have science to prove that Andy's log is
definitely the works and production of something truly divine." lead
scientist on the project, Ingred Strehter said upon publishing the
results of the findings at a news conference earlier this week.
This
is perhaps the best news to come to the BVB Army other than the success
of the BVB Army's assault on 107 BOTDF Air Force personnel at a Georgia
Air Station three days ago, but it most certainly does not seem like
the last of good news.
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