"Providing logs of shit isn't easy," says BVB Army Commander

January 27, 2017

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Casey Leighton

Andy Sixx is no stranger to shit. He has been shitting in the mouths

of his fans for nearly 6 years and when he sat down with me for his first interview since a really horny fan managed to suck so hard on his asshole that food he hasn't even eaten yet came out, he was quite homely and humble as we all know him to be. I was excited, and just for me, he ate a deadly but delicious combination of jalapenos, curry, Whoppers from Burger King and clam slidders from White Castle.

"The incident is something I will remember for the rest of my life," Sixx told me doing up his trousers after I had just sucked a massive fucking warm creamy MONSTER log roll out of his asshole, like this thing was massive, man. It was weapons-grade, I'm telling you. "I know they were a fan and everything and really excited for the opportunity to have me drop a big one down their scrawny little throats, but I don't know. It got me thinking, you know. Maybe I should take a break so that I can recover from it."

Andy is usually pretty brave, but the phenomena of food that he hasn't even eaten yet spewing out of his asshole by someone just ruined him mentally and has supposedly taken a small break from his log of shit duties which I totally know would not be permanent by any means.

He has since recovered and has doubled the number of logs of shit he allows his fans to suck out of his asshole on a daily basis from 3 to 6. I had even asked him where he even finds the time or the food to produce 6 logs of shit in one day. That honestly can't be easy.

"Nobody said it would be easy, but it was something I must do. The log of shit must continue slidding down the throats of the fans and I must do whatever I can to keep up with my fans. They are my flock, and I am their shepherd who shits down their throat every day," Sixx answered.

As holy as his ass, Andy Sixx takes on a burden most people wouldn't ever commit to in their life. When I wrapped up our interview, I even asked him what he thinks overall about his job as commander of the BVB Army and the burden he has to provide shit for the masses. He replied:

"Providing logs of shit isn't easy, but someone has to do it. These are my fans and they deserve to have their sick-twisted fantasies and pleasures carried out by me, even if it does burden me. I must provide. I must be the one to come down from Mount Sainai, carrying the Log of Shit that everybody in the BVB Army shall abide and obey long after it has slid down their fucking throats and massaged its way with the chunks of corn that sticked out of it."