Starbucks to Start Serving General Sixx's Logs?

Not Even Andy Sixx Can Hold it In

February 25, 2017

|

Robert Cayles

Two days after Andy Sixx was dared by Jynxx to hold in his shit until his next concert, 2 fans were hospitalized after being hit with shit shot out of andy sixx's asshole at over 20 miles an hour after being held in by the emo gothic sexy darklord singer and seriously injured.

Danica Fitzgerald and Rosalina Ruiz of Los Angeles were met with head trauma after Andy's hardened log shot out of his ass after being cooked up in his colon for more than a day, but they're aren't at all angry.

"It has been my dream to be hit in the face with Andy's shit. Now I am fulfilled. Now I am complete. I do not need to do anything else in life after now. Now I have reached happiness. I am now in nirvana," Ruiz said while receiving antibiotics through an ivy line after some of the shit got into her eye and caused her to have pink eye.

"Yeah it kind of hurt, but then again, one must suffer to be beautiful, and after andy's warm creamy brown roll makes contact with you, you're the most beautiful thing that could have ever lived," said Fitzgerald as well who also seemed to be pleased with the outcome of her injuries. "Sure I'm in the hospital and everything, but on the plus side, I was hit with Andy Sixx's log of shit and I'm perfectly alright with that."