When it Comes to Andy's Warm Log, All Bets Are Off February 28, 2017 | David Hernandez

 Andy Sixx, in his own right, is a god, let's just be honest here. He is, and he's not just any god, he's the god of all creation and things wonderful. So what is it about his warm log of shit that has everybody's dick (or fallopian tubes) in a knot? Well, look no further than his asymmetrical face and tell me you don't want to tongue wrestle with his brown steamy butt snake.

I can't tell you how many times people ask us: "What the fuck is with this meme" or "Someone explain this to us," but the one thing that all the losers who ask this question lack is humility and the acceptance that Andy Sixx is the hottest, emoest, sexiest, gothiciest, darkiest, deathcoreiest, hardcore, emocore, screamo lead singer ever to exist on the earth and to claim that you don't want to do everything you can to pleasure both him or yourself for that matter is just a lie.

Yup, I remember the first time I saw the meme too and thought everything the Black Veil Brides Army and everything Andy Sixx stood for was just a joke but then suddenly, one day, everything just hit me. I had a dream that I was skipping through a field of flowers when suddenly, I saw him come out from the sunlight. It was Andy Sixx in one of those suave leather jackets with a burrito in one hand and a whole sheet of laxatives in the other.

At first, my reaction to seeing him for the first time was "wtf dude" but slowly, I began to wonder... just what he could be doing here. He had that look in his eyes like he had a warm creamy brown log roll cooking in his colon. After all, the way he chewed that burrito... I don't know... It was just really sexy.

He then took all of the laxatives at once to chase down the burrito he had just finished and then turned around, undid his pants, bent over and spread his ass cheeks and I felt as if some uncontrollable force had taken control of me. It was almost as if cupid, striking me with a love arrow, had forced my lips onto his anus and sucked as if my life depended on it.

After his log started to crown, I continued sucking but shed a tear of joy for this was truly the prime of my life, that one moment with nothing to separate my lips from his asshole. He gave a slight grunt and the whole ordeal was finished. I felt the corn from the burrito massage the inside of my esophagus as it slid down my throat so carefully. I noticed a few bits of shit left on his asshole so I was sure to lick those off, and licked so hard that the friction between my tongue and his skin caused a fire in his ass crack that I was sure to put out with my spit.

Ever since then, I became a guardian of the log. I have been drawn to protect and preserve it for myself, my fellow BVB Army fans and those who will come in the future to protect the log.

Protection means both physically and reputation-wise, of course. Make fun of me, but when it comes to Andy's warm log, all bets are off. This is a pledge I proudly make and will gladly give my life to protect and honor.

BVB Army forever!

Heil Satan!