13 Dead After BVB Army Fangirl Loses Her Shit... Litterally March 11, 2017 | Sanquea Jonze

After the lucky Suzie Sharpton of Columbus, OH managed to suck a big one out of Andy Sixx's asshole during a show, she decided to spit the log of shit out and keep it in her purse so that she may fulfill her sick fantasies with it when she returned home, only the two of them never made it home after the concert. After she noticed it was not in her purse, Sharpton retraced her steps back to the restaurant she and her friends were dining in after the concert only to have security footage be revealed to her of another fan reaching into her purse and taking the log of shit out.

"She fell very silent," Anna Ruiz-Compton, one of Sharpton's friends said who watched everything unfold as her friend turned from cheerful after a BVB concert to furious with murderous rage. "Her pupils dilated at the sight of the unknown girl reaching into her purse and taking the log behind everybody's back. After that, all hell broke loose."

Sharpton instantly pulled the gun from the security guard who was showing her the CCTV security camera footage and began her murderous killing spree in the dining room of the restaurant. After running out of bullets, Sharpton broke a glass bottle of wine on the table and slit her wrists, bleeding out to death before authorities could arrive.

Although technically not a crime, General Andy Sixx ordered an investigation into the matter as well as the apprehension of the girl in the video cameras and has assigned the BVB Army's Criminal Investigation Service to find out why she took someone else's log in the first place.

"The Log of Shit becomes someone's sole property the second their lips lock with my asshole," General Andy Sixx told reporters. "If she hadn't stolen someone else's log, then this whole mess wouldn't have happened in the first place. She will be punished for the crimes committed by Ms. Sharpton"

And perhaps those 13 people would still be alive if only that one person could have some integrity and not take things that do not belong to them.