BVB Army Unveils Summer Shitlog Games March 8, 2017 | Marcia Robins

After a long and gruesome war with the BOTDF Air Force, the BVB Army is ready to move forward and our Lord and Savior, General Andy Sixx is way ahead of everybody. In a press conference, General Sixx unveiled something set to bring the most to our summer as well as keep his warm log of shit in our hearts: an olympic-like summer games tournament.

"This year, the BVB Army is proud to announce the unveiling of something truly spectacular. This event will not only make history, but it will also make my warm creamy log roll something to compete for," said General Sixx in the press conference. "Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, I bring to you the 2017 Summer Shitlog Games. This summer, we will be hosting a tournament that will truly test people and make their log-sucking abilities. Only those with the most skill will win the ultimate prize: the Golden Log of Shit."

But don't get so excited now because there is still plenty that must be done, including finding a host city for this tremendous event. To handle all of the planning, the General Sixx established the Shitlog Games Committee to handle organization, funding and administrative matters portioning the Shitlog Games and their future. While the SGC has not announced when the games would commence, they did announce the following candidates to host the event:

1. Atlanta, Georgia, USA

2. London, United Kingdom

3. Cairo, Egypt

4. Brasilia, Brazil

5. Havana, Cuba

6. Bern, Switzerland

7. Yokohama, Japan

Election and bidding will commence on a later date.