FBI Arrest Several Board Members of BVB Army's Charity Wing Following Federal Indictment

 Shortly after the Federal Bureau of Investigation raided the offices of the Suck a Log Foundation, the BVB Army's official charity wing, arrest warrants went out for several of the members of the Board of Directors of the Charity wing, accusing them of colluding with the Russian government to help Donald Trump win the presidency.

The arrest warrants came shortly after three members of the Suck a Log Foundation were handed indictments by a federal grand jury, It took days for Mueller's team to try to explain just what the Suck a Log Foundation was to the members of the grand jury, some of whom thought this was a joke for some reason while others laughed and giggled immaturely at the image of the special prosecutor asking them to indict a bunch of members who run a charity organization that delivers shit (literal shit) to impoverished children around the world.

"It was frustrating," Jesse Youmsted, assistant special counselor said who handled the grand jury proceeding. "Most of them thought we weren't being serious. After all, the defendants sit on a board of directors for an organization that deliver the feces of some queer lead singer of a band nobody's ever heard of, to children in less-fortunate situations. I still don't know how they have money to pay for their offices, let alone transport some dude's shit to another country. I mean it's shit. Come on now!"

Shortly after the arrests were made, Suck a Log Foundation Director and BVB Army Lieutenant General Ashley Purdy announced the dismissal of eight members of the board of directors for the Suck a Log Foundation, which included people not arrested by the FBI. Lieutenant General Purdy also released the statement:

"I really don't understand why people are given tremendous power and abuse it like that. To sit on the board of directors of the Suck a Log Foundation is an honor many would kill for. It still baffles me sometimes."

General Andy Sixx, commander of the BVB Army, was not available for comment of the incident.