Loginol: What is it and Why do We Care?

Perhaps you are one of a few people who depends on Andy’s logs strictly for their nutrition content. Fair enough; scientific tests have shown that just the thought of General Andy Sixx’s log have shown drastic improvement in neuroLOGical repair in patients suffering from devastating diseases, but what is it inside General Sixx’s creamy logs of poo that make them really good for you (rhyme intended).
The answer is Loginol. At first, very little was known about this sophisticated chemical compound. According to Dr. Elliot Shitsucker of the BVB Army Institute of Shitlog Sciences:

“Loginol was something medical science has never seen before. It was a sophisticated complex of amino-acid and hydrocarbons that are not found in the feces of any other person, species of animal, plants, fungi, archaea or even bacteria.”

But aside from it’s rarity, Dr. Shitsucker also claims it has remarkable properties no other substance in human or animal feces has in general:

“It has the unusual ability to bind to the D2-like dopamine receptors in the brain and in doing so, it brings the subject to  an amplified state of pure ecstasy and euphoria. It has a much stronger effect than that of any narcotic or other psychotropic drug.”

Although some people like Dr. Shitswallow are optimistic of the potentials and benefits of loginol, others do not share the same enthusasiam like Professor James L Scatslurper, a retired Brigadier General and now full-time professor at the BVB Army-Jynxx Academy of Technology and Logular Science.

“We must be careful with what we don’t fully understand. We thought the same properties of Dani Filth’s Piss to have just as much effect on people as General Sixx’s shit, but after people drank too much of it, they began having problems with their urinary tract systems. Let’s not jump to conclusions about Loginol just yet.”

Whatever the case may be, we are still certain of one thing, and that is no matter what the effects of loginol turn out to be, it’s not going to get in our way of sucking a fat juicy one out of General Andy Sixx’s asshole.