Is a Budget Crisis in the Loom?

General Andy Sixx leaving a meeting with his crisis council after budget shortfalls were found by the BVB Army Office of Shitlog Funding and Monetary Security

     After a lengthy government intervention from both the US Congress and Robert Mueller's investigation, the BVB Army's Office of Shitlog Funding and Monetary Security discovered several shortfalls in the BVB Army's budget for the remaining of the fiscal year. After legal fees and correspondence fees, the BVB Army doesn't have enough money to pay its soldiers until October, but it doesn't end there because retirement and veterans benefits are set to run out by July.

     In response the Commander of the BVB Army, General Andy Sixx, called his crisis council into a meeting to discuss what could possibly be done to ensure that the budget issues don't interfere with the BVB Army's vital missions. Although the session ended with a stalemate, Chairman Nathaniel Shitswallow released the statement that:

     "The BVB Army is committed to ensuring that General Sixx's warm logs slidde down the fucking throats of every little 12 year-old fan girl in the world. We are prepared to make whatever sacrifices necessary to ensure that the logs continue to slidde. General Sixx and I have already sanctioned the high command's paychecks by half, and we're also willing to make cuts to other non-essential components temporarily until the start of the next year."

     Chairman Shitswallow also reminded the public that: "I understand that now's the time for concern, but we shouldn't be too worried just yet. We just need to be able to survive until the restart of the fiscal year. By then, everything will go back to normal."

     What sacrifices are to made are not known. Although we know that if General Sixx's hands aren't already tied yet by trying to provide delicious creamy logs to so many little fangirls in desperate need of them just yet, we do know that he must act rationally if we're to be continuous on that notion.