Utah Man Arrested and Charged with Fraud

A Utah man was arrested by the BVB Army Criminal Investigation Division's Fraud and Consumer Protection Investigations unit after attempting to defraud thousands of horny little fangirls around the world by selling them fake logs claimed to be from General Sixx’s asshole.

Special Agent In Charge Michael J Shitslurper of the FCPI announced the charges brought by the BVB Army against 42 year-old Utah Resident Alan L Black included:

 - 36 counts of felonious fraud of feces
 - 10 counts of impersonating a BVB Army agent
 - 108 counts of wire fraud
 And more importantly
 - 3 counts of attempting to sell General Sixx’s creamy logs without a license.

“Mr. Black was willing and capable oof scamming over 2,000 horny little fangirls across the world,” said Special Agent Shitslurper in a press conference held earlier today. “We have identified at least 2,160 victims of this malicious attack on the BVB Army. Furthermore, we have seized over $8.7 million of dishonest proceeds, all of which will be paid back to those that Mr. Black has targeted and scammed.”

Special Agent Shitslurper claimed that the logs sold to victims of the scam were indeed feces coming from livestock animals such as horses or cows.

When asked his opinion of the matter, General Andy Sixx said:

“I cannot believe that anybody would have the audacity to make a profit off the needs of a horny little fan girl. The very notion that someone would so such a despicable and cowardly act is atrocious.”

Although scams for General Sixx’s creamy logs run prevalent, they aren’t usually as successful or as grand scale as those of Black. He comes in only second to those of Bernard Logdoff who nearly scammed horny little fangirls of nearly $18 billion for General Sixx’s hearty loafs.