Why the Tesla Deal Fell Apart

Last year, entrepreneur Elon Musk expressed his interest in investing in the BVB Army to harvest "fangirl energy" to use as an environmentally-friendly alternative way to produce energy. Although solar power would remain a priority for Elon Musk's Tesla Inc., he said it wouldn't be a bad idea to see what "the fangirls can do for us."

Over a year later, and that plan, like many potential ventures with the BVB Army, was shelved unexpectedly.

What happened? Politics.

The Black Veil Brides Army is obligated by its charter to provide only the creamiest logs to all the horny little fangirls of the world. Fulfilling this priority has not only taken costs on energy and personnel, but finances as well. There are tons of horny little fangirls around the world and reaching all of them to deliver some dude's shit can really cost a fortune in some instances.

So why would the BVB Army not invest in Elon Musk's vision for a potential joint-venture to produce energy and provide logs as an additional source for cash flow for the BVB Army? Still, politics. Although General Sixx is the Commander of the BVB Army, he's not in total power. At least he isn't when it comes to logistics and budgetary spending. In fact, the very reason he created an entire department within the BVB Army (The BVB Army Department of Logistics and Finances) was so that other people would be in charge of that, and the administrators within that office are not too keen about Elon Musk.

"Quite simply, the man is rather wreckless," said Lieutenant Colonel Jeffery L Shitswallow of the BVB Army DLF. "His company's stock is highly over-valued and he has no control over what he says on social media. Henceforth, we cannot support him, or at least I won't if he ever comes to us with a business proposition."

This opinion of Musk, however, has not been shared by everybody in the department, or other offices within the BVB Army as well. In fact, the BVB Army's Department of Energy and Environmental Sustainability (DEES)'s spokesperson said in an interview last year that they would love it if the BVB Army invested in opportunities like fangirl power.

Regardless of whatever happens with Elon Musk, one thing is for certain, and that is that horny little fangirls won't be turning hampster wheels for the BVB Army's electrical needs anytime soon.